It's Not That Bad #16: 1, 2, 3…cue spiralling about it being the end of 2022

+ pesky grief. Poems to read today. & a little culture list.

I know we all say this every year, but how is it December! I feel sick at the passing of time! Why do months go by so fast but days so slowly? A hell of a lot has changed in the last twelve months, personally/politically/globally. Some of it good. Much of it bad. Most of it somewhere-in-the-middle. Mentally, I’m not ready to write an end-of-year reflective piece, or fill this newsletter with 2022 learnings. I am baby, and there is just one single brain-cell rattling around in my head at the moment. 

This year was transformational and stabilising at the same time, a phenomenon I’m told is pretty common in your late twenties.

I grew roots in my life, with my partner and home and cat and friends. I got sick which made me really sit back and think about how fast I was going, and what was important. I forgot those lessons pretty quickly. Learned them again. Changed up my work-life a few times. Did a lot of things that scared me. Loved deeply. Hurt immensely. Got hit by the bus that is grief.

Ate burrata on a beach with sand sticking to my toes. Danced to my favourite musician in the Spanish sun. Walked through a forest in torrential rain. Wrote more words than ever before. Did too many tequila shots. Read books that changed my life. And ones I now can’t remember. Watched housewives scream at each other. All of this is to say, it was momentous and boring and fun and sad. Or, in other words, just another normal year of being human. 

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Poem for when your brain is melting?

Three men have called me neurotic,

In my lifetime. 

That number feels like it should be higher.

I’ve received enough dick pics to excuse

Any neurosis 

But hey, who’s counting.

Sometimes I have two baths in a day

And then blame myself for the global climate crisis 

Even though men like elon exist 

Sometimes I meet people who

could use a bit of imposter syndrome 

I love when someone says they feel bad for famous people

Who would want to be that rich! 

Who would want to be that well known!

You couldn’t go anywhere! 

Actually you could literally go anywhere 

Once I accidentally ate some carpet cleaner

And it was fine 

But when I accidentally have cows milk 

It’s not OK

Make any of it make sense